FULLY MANAGED, FULLY OUTSOURCED MARKETING FOR GROWING SMES.

For a single, cost-effective, monthly fee, we become your entire marketing department.

We plan, create, and execute all the marketing you’ll ever need!

 It’s rough out there.

 

The marketing landscape is filled with rogues and renegades. With pushers and pretenders. With over-priced sellers of underwhelming results and corner-cutting peddlers of ineffective shite.

 

We’ve seen it. We’ve challenged it. We’ve set the whole bloody place on fire. 

WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME.

READY TO SEE WHAT REAL MARKETING CAN DO FOR YOUr BUSINESS?

What Does fully managed marketing

look like for you?

We know you hate bloody marketing.

 That’s why we’ll handle everything.

 All the planning, all the ideas, all the execution.

 We become your entire marketing department.

 A team of rockstars, bursting with ideas and experience, unleashing their skills on your products and services.

 

The outcome?

 

Less stress and more sales for your business!!

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Marketing Strategy

Bread and butter stuff. We build your marketing like a castle: foundations of stone, towers of bricks and mortar, decorations of velvet curtains and crown bloody jewels. A logical and comprehensive strategy, from design to delivery.    

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Website Design

You don’t need us to tell you how important it is to have a decent website. What we’re here to do is create something that will knock your competitors out of the park. The internet is full of shoddy workmanship. Let’s give your customers something better: a site for sore eyes.  

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Video Production

Up top: there’s a video we made for ourselves. Pretty cool, right? We love making videos because we know how effective they can be. People respond to them. A decent video, all singing and dancing, could be the key ingredient that jet-sets your brand to LaLa Land.  

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Animated Videos

Everyone loves Disney. But they’re not the only ones who can bring pixels to life. A good animated video is snappy, memorable, and, heck, even a little bit cute. Your brand is oozing with potential: let’s use it to create some movie magic.   

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Social Media posting

Social media has taken the world by blah blah blah. Yes, we’ve heard it all before. Obviously, social media is super important. Likes, shares, comments, tiks, toks – whatever. We’ll get them for you.  

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Facebook & Instagram Ads

That’s where all the cool kids hang out, right? In any case, we’ll make sure your tasty goods are seen by the hungriest eyes. 

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Google My Business

An essential tool for optimising your business profile on Google.

Let’s keep the Google Gods happy, shall we?

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SEO

Feeling a bit like a needle in a haystack? Well, sod that. Once we’re through with you, you’ll be holding a big bastard flaming sword of searchable dominance!  

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Copywriting

Copywriting about the copywriting, by the copywriter: my time to shine! hello. i make good words. people will read and be happy. and ur business will be very well. 

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Graphic Design

For all its glitz and glamour, marketing is actually rather a grim affair. It’s all numbers and analytics. Coding and communicative science. Yucky, ugly stuff. Luckily, we’ve got a graphic designer to make it all look pretty.   

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Testimonial Videos

These are a great way to showcase specific, tangible results, straight from the horses’ mouth

(sorry, your customers, not horses, that was rude). 

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Case Studies

A template: Once there was a person whose life kind of sucked. Then they used [insert your brand here] to fix everything. Now their life kicks ass and they own three ponies and a boat.

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Lead Capture Funnels

Do you like fishing? I like fishing. For me, one of the most interesting and important parts was learning about all the baits. Do you use natural or artificial? Freshwater or saltwater? Sea worms or sultanas? To get the bite, it’s got to be right.  If you don’t like fishing, don’t worry. I’m not really talking about fishing.  

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5 Star Review Funnels

Look at the stars, see how they shine for you (and your business), and all the things you do (for you and your business), will now be funneled through an automated process to help you manage online reviews and showcase your happiest customers.  Pretty catchy, right? 

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Email Marketing

Been doing some research about how often people check their emails. The conclusion? … we all need to get a life. Oh, right, and that email marketing is super important. Promotional, acquisitional, retentional… it’s all good sh*t. Except when they’re, well, sh*t. Which is why we do them… not sh*t? 

Moving on!  

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Quarterly Meetings

That’s right, we are real people! Doing real marketing! And real marketing requires real meetings.  

 
(Select the ‘meet at pub’ option for maximum effect).  

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Adwords & ppc

The Google advertising network? A terrifying land, scarred with gaping chasms of lost revenue, mountains of wasted cash, and overcrowded graveyards of busted business. 

 Unless, like us, you carry the Key (words) of Destiny! Then it’s actually pretty great. Less dystopian world, more Alton Towers Resort. Enjoy! 

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PR

“Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire Bloody Marketing!! to handle all their PR.”

Paraphrased from some guy.  

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Linkedin Leadgen

Well, we confess. It is our intention to commandeer your company LinkedIn profile; connect you with your ideal customer; contactoutreach, message, and otherwise market our bloody black guts out. 

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Direct Mail

Let’s cut all the digital crap for a second. Sometimes, some good ol’ fashioned mail is the best damn marketing you can do. We’re in the business of delivering happiness – real happiness.

Meet your marketing team

 You don’t need to employ an entire team of creatives. That’s our job.

 

We become your Marketing Manager, and our ever-growing team of 10+ local marketing rockstars become your team.

 

Your new team will create websites, videos, graphics, copywriting, social media, PR, and everything in between.

 

All backed up by the V-COP™ Formulaic Marketing Blueprint – a proven recipe for success.

 

V-COP™ takes a strategic, logical, formulaic approach to your marketing. Then backs it up with consistent results.

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Meet your marketing managers

We do all the planning, create all the ideas, and then manage our team of 10+ creative rockstars to execute the bloody lot.

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Russ Allcock

Russell has been building winning Sales & Marketing Funnels for over 30 years. In that time, he’s worked for, consulted with and sold services to some of the best-known brands in the UK, including SONY, Vodafone, RAC, BBC, The Children’s Society, O2, DIAGEO, and Orange.

 Having also written his bestselling book “FUTURE PROOF (Your Business)”, Russ is recognised as a leading authority on local focused marketing. Using his knowledge and experience, he co-created the “V-COP Formulaic Marketing Blueprint”, a tried and tested Marketing System that enables businesses to dominate their local area.

Dan Davison

Dan started marketing when he was 12 - no joke! Armed with a camera and an internet connection, he worked with a list of big names, from the BBC to MI5, and all the way across the Atlantic to advertise on Times Square on New Year's Eve. He was even called in to consult on marketing for a particular party in the 2019 election.

His background in tech drives his focus on systemisation and improvement, which led to the creation of V-COP. The end-game for Dan is to create a large-scale marketing system that constantly improves itself, and grants access to incredible marketing to every SME in the world.

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Need some proof?

Rather than print a few narcissistic words from our favourite clients, here’s some of the actual work we have delivered

 

So, want to chat? First, a little housekeeping.

Don’t be fooled by our boisterous bravado – it’s just a marketing persona. Delve deeper and you’ll find a highly professional and focused business, backed up by a team of marketers at the top of their game, fully committed to your success

We work hard to deliver results for our clients, and we take pride in our achievements.

 

ABOUT YOU

We only deal with serious SMEs.

We want gamechangers, people who will invest in their future – no pretenders looking for a quick win. If you want that, hire a telesales person. Real, results driven marketing is a long-term investment, but the rewards are there for all to see.

Please, no tyre kickers! Only ass kickers need contact us. 😊