I had a really great gag planned for the intro of this page.  

I was going to copy and paste the first paragraph of the ‘Copywriter’ Wikipedia page, and then there was going to be a quote that said: “Wait, you’ve just copied that from the Wikipedia page!” And then I was going to be like: “Yes, I’m a COPYwriter…” 

But then I realised an entire plagiarised paragraph would not be so good for the old SEO… 

And I also realised that, actually, it’s a crappy, unfunny, dad-joke kinda gag – one which would have set your eyes rolling and given you a terrible headache. So for everyone’s sake, I decided to scrap it. 

You’re welcome.

What Can Copywriting Do For Your Business


For this section, I’m going to employ one of my favourite copywriting formulas: PAS (Problem, Agitate, Solution). 

We start with the Problem: 

Words have been failing your business. Though you know, in your head, the precise reasons why people should choose your service rather than others, you get tongue-twisted anytime you try to explain it. And your website isn’t helping much, either: a line of text here, an empty slogan there… none of it is doing your brand any sort of justice. 

Then we Agitate it: 

Customers want to know about your business. They want to spend the money to have their lives improved. But they are simply not receiving the necessary information or motivation from your web copy. The words which could compel them to action are not there. Thus, in a matter of seconds, they lose faith in your brand, and go looking elsewhere. 

And then we swoop in with the Solution: 

With Bloody Marketing’s copywriting services, your business will be dressed to the nines in every kind of persuasive word finery. A customer arrives at your website, searching for something very particular, and just a couple of short paragraphs later, they’ll know that they have found it. And if they want to go deeper still, they’ll find blogs, and service descriptions, and ‘About Us’ pages, and much more – all of which will be reassuring your customer that you are the right person (or people) for the job.  

Bloody Marketing Copywriting!!

We get it – words can be a pain in the ass. You don’t have the time, or the will, to be sorting any of it. That’s why, in addition to web copy, we’ll handle EVERYTHING, including: 

  • Social copy 
  • Blogs 
  • Emails 
  • Case studies 
  • Reports 
  • White papers (long-form educational documents) 

It’s all included in the Bloody Marketing Unlimited package (which involves a lot more than just copywriting – I’m not doing all the bloody work!) 

Hereth lies a Call to Action 

So, want to chat? First, a little housekeeping.

Don’t be fooled by our boisterous bravado – it’s just a marketing persona. Delve deeper and you’ll find a highly professional and focused business, backed up by a team of marketers at the top of their game, fully committed to your success

We work hard to deliver results for our clients, and we take pride in our achievements.



We only deal with serious SMEs.

We want gamechangers, people who will invest in their future - no pretenders looking for a quick win. If you want that, hire a telesales person. Real, results driven marketing is a long-term investment, but the rewards are there for all to see.

Please, no tyre kickers! Only ass kickers need contact us. 😊

Copywriting Bloody Marketing!!

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