Dear John, 

Since hearing of your recent troubles with that rabble gang of wretched marketeers, I have endeavored to apply quill to parchment with the utmost haste. What you have thus far endured is nothing shy of deplorable, and as a proud patron of the marketing industry, I am presently coloured in the most incandescent hues of embarrassment and disgust. 

These rogues, these fiends, by whom you were so vagrantly deceived, are becoming a growing nuisance in my line of work. Their overpriced ineffectuality is a plague that spreads into every corner of business and enterprise. It is a sinister and insidious operation, of which you are one of the latest victims. For that, I am deeply sorry. 

However! I have not conducted this letter merely to lament. ‘Tis a fine Thursday afternoon; the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and the winds of opportunity doth howl and sing into my very ears. Do you hear them? Well, soon you shall.  

I understand that your faith in marketing has been shaken, and that it shall require a great deal of toil to see it restored. But therein lies the solution: real marketing cannot be achieved without the necessary hard-work, to which my people and I are utterly committed. And before long, you will bear witness to the results, and I will finally be at liberty to put down my quill, for these results will speak for themselves. 

I look forward to your response, 

Russellius Allcockius

Image of Envelope - Direct Mail


In today’s digital world, direct mail can seem a touch outdated. We have email, social media, Google – and it’s all instant. Do people even check their mailboxes anymore? Do people even HAVE mailboxes??

Turns out, they do. Direct mail has been proven, many times over, to be one of the most stand-out pieces of marketing you can do.

This survey showed that direct mail campaigns had a better return on investment (ROI) than both paid search and online display ads. This one showed that direct mail had higher response rates than email.

“How could this be?? Computers are king!”

Because, direct mail, to name but a few reasons:

  • Is very easy to target
  • Is less common, so it stands out more
  • Feels more personal
  • Invokes old-school romanticism
  • Can be HELLA creative




Oh yes, we know a thing or two about direct mail. In fact, it is our MAIN method of generating new leads for ourselves. It’s called the “black box” system. You may have already received one yourself. Pretty cool, ain’t they?
Even if you haven’t received one, you needn’t feel like you’re missing out. Because now we’re going to do direct mail for your business. Letters, leaflets, pamphlets – the works. And your recipients will positively swoon at the mere sight of your neatly packaged, personalised goodies.

All included in the Bloody Marketing Unlimited Package.

Signed, sealed, delivered

All part of the package!



If you’re looking for Direct Mail, then we can give you Direct Mail. But why have a slice of cake when you could have the whole cake?

At Bloody Marketing, we do all your marketing – because we can, and because it’s way more cost-efficient for you. For a small monthly fee you get everything you’ll ever need, with a fully-fledged strategy specific to your business and your goals.

Click the button below to learn more about the full Bloody Marketing package.

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