The Royal Navy had the HMS Victory. The Pirates of the Caribbean had the Black Pearl. The Spanish Armada had the São Martinho. The Sith had the Death Star…
‘As beautiful a piece of ship-building as any that has been launched from the marketing docks, a true thoroughbred, cuts through the tides like a hot knife through butter, weatherly, dry, fully decked with cannons and bells and whistles, a ship that almost steers itself once you understand its ways.’
OK, don’t worry, no more ship metaphors.
That ship has sailed.
Bread and butter stuff. We build your marketing like a castle: foundations of stone, towers of bricks and mortar, decorations of velvet curtains and crown bloody jewels. A logical and comprehensive strategy, from design to delivery.
You don’t need us to tell you how important it is to have a decent website. What we’re here to do is create something that will knock your competitors out of the park. The internet is full of shoddy workmanship. Let’s give your customers something better: a site for sore eyes.
Up top: there’s a video we made for ourselves. Pretty cool, right? We love making videos because we know how effective they can be. People respond to them. A decent video, all singing and dancing, could be the key ingredient that jet-sets your brand to LaLa Land.
Everyone loves Disney. But they’re not the only ones who can bring pixels to life. A good animated video is snappy, memorable, and, heck, even a little bit cute. Your brand is oozing with potential: let’s use it to create some movie magic.
Social media has taken the world by blah blah blah. Yes, we’ve heard it all before. Obviously, social media is super important. Likes, shares, comments, tiks, toks – whatever. We’ll get them for you.
For all its glitz and glamour, marketing is actually rather a grim affair. It’s all numbers and analytics. Coding and communicative science. Yucky, ugly stuff. Luckily, we’ve got a graphic designer to make it all look pretty.
Do you like fishing? I like fishing. For me, one of the most interesting and important parts was learning about all the baits. Do you use natural or artificial? Freshwater or saltwater? Sea worms or sultanas? To get the bite, it’s got to be right. If you don’t like fishing, don’t worry. I’m not really talking about fishing.
Look at the stars, see how they shine for you (and your business), and all the things you do (for you and your business), will now be funneled through an automated process to help you manage online reviews and showcase your happiest customers. Pretty catchy, right?
Been doing some research about how often people check their emails. The conclusion? … we all need to get a life. Oh, right, and that email marketing is super important. Promotional, acquisitional, retentional… it’s all good sh*t. Except when they’re, well, sh*t. Which is why we do them… not sh*t?
The Google advertising network? A terrifying land, scarred with gaping chasms of lost revenue, mountains of wasted cash, and overcrowded graveyards of busted business.
Unless, like us, you carry the Key (words) of Destiny! Then it’s actually pretty great. Less dystopian world, more Alton Towers Resort. Enjoy!
Well, we confess. It is our intention to commandeer your company LinkedIn profile; connect you with your ideal customer; contact, outreach, message, and otherwise market our bloody black guts out.