Bloody Marketing



So, you want to make a splash in 2022?

That’s too bad. We don’t really do “splashes”. Sorry to disappoint. 

But, What about the “Bloody Marketing Mega Bundle?”

Oh, that? That creates tsunamis. Waaaay bigger than a splash. Is that what you want?

Yes! I want a Bloody Marketing TSUNAMI!!!!

Well, alrighty then. Just sign the dotted line, and we’ll get ri-

Hang on, hang on, I need to know a bit more about it first…

Ah, sure thing. Let me tell you about the Bloody Marketing Mega Bundle.


We’ve created it because 2022 is going to be the year when social selling and content marketing overtakes all the usual (and boring) forms of lead generation. This is a package of premium, unique, and potentially ridiculous content that will bring your business to life in ways that simply do not exist anywhere else.


We’re going to expose your business like never before, putting you firmly on the map, launching you into 2022 with the fury of a thousand suns. Or something like that. 


Here’s what you’ll get…

Marketing Mega Bundle Bloody Marketing!!

Value Proposition

First, we’ll sort out your Value Proposition. This is the most important thing in marketing, period. Without it, businesses can often be found falling firmly on their ass, yelling “bloody marketing!!” as they go.

Getting it right will revolutionise how you communicate your message and crush the competition. To that end, we’ll have a big meeting with you to discuss your business, and our copywriter will then concoct your brand-new, ass-kicking Value Proposition into a compelling written blueprint. You will finally have all the right words to use in all your communications (website, social media, point of sale).

On its own, this bad boy is usually worth £1,000. 

Expert Articles

But Mr Fancy-words-copywriter-man won’t stop there. Next, he’s going to write three story-based blogs relating specifically to your business, something that goes a bit beyond the usual parameters of copywriting.

You may wonder where he gets the ideas from, but honestly, it’s best not to think about it. 

Point is, they’ll be something uniquely entertaining for your new and existing customers to enjoy on your blog, rather than the usual “Top X Reasons Why X should do X”.

And that’s going to help you stand the f*** out.

Normally £600 for these.

Showcase Animation

Next, meet Dan, our co-founder and videographer extraordinaire. The guy has an uncanny ability to roll a poo in glitter and then make it smell like roses. Not that your business is a poo…


Anyway, he’s going to create a showcase video about your business so special, the competition will bow their heads in shame at how bloody good you look (and smell). Usually worth £1,000, at least.

Promotional Videos

Finally, we’ll create four short promotional videos ready made for social media.

Imagine having a salesperson pop up all over the socials on your behalf (except they don’t have silly haircuts and say stuff like “ABC – Always Be Closing!”), delivering a short, sharp, lead-generating message.

This particular form of ass-kicking and name-taking normally costs £400.  

Go on then, give me the price!

This is some premium shit, so normally we’d charge £2,500 for the package. But as it’s January, f*** it – how about 50% off? Yep, £1,250 + vat for the whole lot!

Bloody fabulous!! 


I’ll also go one step further and offer three packs for £3,000, and that’s your content sorted for what, six months? Professional, one-of-a-kind content, guaranteed to stand out from the other suckers doing the same old stuff. What’s not to like?

Your only decision, I suppose, is one pack or three… 😉 

The Bloody Marketing Mega Bundle is yours for the taking. Give us a bell!

…if you’re still not convinced (WTF??), here’s some gratuitous content we created for ourselves and our clients.

Marketing Mega Bundle Bloody Marketing!!

Gimme the Bundle

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