The most ridiculous SEO blog ever

seo, marketing agency

Written by Bloody Marketing


Have you ever read a blog that was so over-optimised that it nearly gave you a brain haemorrhage? Well, dear reader, you ain’t seen nothing yet. 

As an outsourced marketing agency, we are taking it upon ourselves to write a digital marketing blog so overloaded with keywords and general SEO hogwash that it might expedite the robotic revolution by some 20 years, leading to untold suffering for all humankind. So why in Skynet’s name are we doing this?

For content marketing experimental purposes, mostly. But also because it might be educational? But also because it might just score us some cheap SEO points for such search terms as ‘best outsourced marketing agency’ and ‘SEO content’ and ‘shameless idiots trying to outsmart Google’.    


This is a heading with the SEO keyword


It’s important to include keywords in your headings. But not in every heading. Ideally, your main SEO keyword will be in roughly 80% of your headings. But not the same keyword; variety is the spice of life. Seek longtail variations of key terms and embed them naturally in your content. Confused yet?

Then you might be interested in the marketing services provided by an outsourced marketing agency, such as Bloody Marketing, the best digital marketing agency. With our top-notch SEO strategies and techniques, we can help your website climb to the top of the search engine results and drive tons of targeted traffic to your site. Speaking of SEO strategies


A section about a winning SEO strategy for your business


First, we start with thorough keyword research. Using the latest tools and technology, we identify the most popular and relevant keywords for your business, and then incorporate them naturally into your website’s content. This ensures that your site will rank highly for the keywords that your potential customers are searching for.

Next, we turn to link building. We carefully research and select high-quality websites with a strong presence in your industry, and then we reach out to them to secure backlinks to your site. This not only helps to improve your search engine ranking, but also helps to build your credibility and establish you as an authority in your field.

But we don’t stop there. We also implement a number of other tactics to help your website rank highly in search engine results. This includes social media marketing, email marketing, and even traditional marketing techniques like print and direct mail.  


A section about why SEO content should be engaging


Effective keyword implementation is just one aspect of SEO. Equally important is the readability of the text, and whether or not the content is informative, useful and engaging. If the majority of readers click a blog and then swiftly click away, that equates to a high bounce rate, which ultimately lowers the SEO score of the post.

So how do you keep people’s attention? The truth is there’s no winning formula. But I suppose one good strategy is to not to write a rambling, messy, convoluted blog like this one; it’s a miracle if your readers make it this far. You can learn more about the DON’Ts of blog writing by reading our How NOT to write a blog blog. 

That was an internal link, by the way. Let’s now talk a bit about those. 


Internal links and external links


Internal linking is when a site links to a URL on the same site. External links, like that one, link to a URl on another site. Both are important for SEO – aim for at least two of each on your blog post. 

Ideally, you will be linking to pages that are similar to the main keywords of your blog. For example, as this is a blog about SEO, we should link to our own landing page about SEO, as well as an external link to an SEO authority, such as Neil Pattel. However, you want to be careful not to send readers to your main competitors, so choose your external links carefully!


Some more SEO tips


The tips we’ve provided so far, while presented in an utterly ridiculous manner, should give you a start in SEO best practices

People have literally written books about SEO. It’s a very, very in-depth subject with endless nuances that are impossible to cover in a single blog. Nonetheless, here are a few more quick tips which should help:


  • Use bulleted lists: They are your friend.


  • Use correct heading tags: H1 for your title, H2 for your main headings, H3 for your sub-headings.

  • Images: Try to include 2 or 3 in your content to break up the text. I know we haven’t used any in this blog; this is more of a ‘do as I say, not as I do’ kinda scenario. 

  • Readability: Keep your sentences and paragraphs as short and snappy as possible.


  • Keyword density: At this point, it’s anyone’s guess what the optimal keyword density is. It’s changing all the time. SEO tools like Surfer SEO can help out a lot. But if you’re in no mood to fork out for that kind of tech, our best advice is to use more keywords than you feel is natural, but not to the point of excess. (We’ve used ‘SEO’ way too much in this blog – again, do as I say, not as I do).



A brief conclusion


Writing an SEO-friendly blog that doesn’t read like it was written by a robot can be challenging, for sure. But eventually, you get a feel for shoehorning keywords and other SEO techniques into your content in a way that feels (kind of) natural. It’s a delicate dance, but the results can be spectacular!

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